The List
by TrippyHippieGirl
Summary: Probably a oneshot this is about might of happened if Ali's mom realized she was alive before she buried her in the ground


*What if Mrs.D had realized Ali was still alive that night? this will expand on that idea

Jessica Dilaurentis Pov: I had just seen Alison get hit in the head with a rock by Jason he knew I wasn't his mother hes Kens child with someone else, I had also had an affair resulting in Alison and now I came to the conclusion Jason must of been the one threatening my daughter. "What have you done!" I yelled Standing over my daughter "Bury her in the backyard now!" He boomed instability raging in his voice "How could you do this to her?!" I cried hysterical I tried to reach out towards her to check her pulse but he grabbed me. "Do it or I'll bury you too, shes dead I'll murder you if you don't" He almost laughed. I could see the mania in his eyes, She wasn't moving her eyes are shut I just saw my daughter die right in front of me! he dragged Alison into the backyard forcing me with him. He kicked her into a shallow spot he had dug up and took off his belt before I had time to react he pulled up my shirt and whipped twice sending me falling onto my knees hysterical in pain bleeding.

He threw a shovel in front of me "Now!" I picked up the shovel hes threatening to kill me if I don't do it I look down at my daughter distraught misery plastered across my face I begin burying her "Oh how could you do this!" I repeat. Suddenly I see her blink, was it my imagination wishing that she was alive? I saw her blink again she stared at me for a second horror flashing in her eyes before they shut again. Shes alive I never should of let Jason convince me she was dead I can't do this I'm not going to bury my daughter alive! The very thought makes me sick to my stomach I love Alison more than anything. "Come on Jason we have to figure out how to dispose of Jessica, I think shes been tortured enough she'll stay in line" I heard Ken whisper as he came up behind Jason "Fill the hole or you'll be in it too" he kicked me onto the ground.

When I saw them go inside I jumped into the hole and picked Alison up "I'm so sorry" I cry setting her down I quickly fill up the hole she opens her eyes "I should of realized you were alive sooner" I say staring into her eyes I had never seen her look so scared before. I managed to pick her up again I carried her to my car opening the door I put her into the passenger seat buckled her in, got myself into the drivers seat buckled up started the car and drove off into the night theres no time right now for a real make up moment I have to get out of rosewood. We have to get out of Pennsylvania I have to get rid of this car and get another one I don't want Ken or Jason to find us, I don't trust the cops with this rosewood pd is crooked I need to keep my daughter safe the best shot at that is to cover tracks and keep running. I need to find a way to get away from Ken for good,I would of done it a long time ago if I had realized how twisted he was but the first step is finding someplace safe to stay for the night.

Alisons Pov: I had been hit in the head with a rock, My mom was burying me alive how could she not see I was alive she kept repeating the same thing, Suddenly I heard someone climb into the hole I feel my mom pick me up she says shes sorry. I open my eyes to see a filled up hole and a glimpse of Jason and Ken inside the house I realize one of them had basically tried to force my mom into burying me alive "I should of realized you were alive sooner" My mom says looking into my eyes. The only thing understand right now is that the fact she didn't bury me means she cares about me on some level, I feel her pick me up she puts me in the car and buckles me in before doing the same to herself and driving off. She looks so terrified and distraught, I push my mom away sometimes out of fear of getting hurt or rejected but right now I wish I could be there for her that I could tell her we'll get through this but the words aren't coming out.

Crimson red seeps through my moms shirt what the hell did they do to her? I manage to wriggle my feet out of my boots I struggle lifting up my feet I manage to take off my socks continuing to struggle suddenly letting out a loud sob,I move my hands pressing the socks against the bloody area. She flinches slightly on contact staring at me for a second tears streaming down our faces "Thank you" She whispers "M-o-m-m-y" I slowly say my speech slurred slightly "I'm going to protect you I promise" She says before turning her head back to the road. My ptsd starts acting up I find myself wondering if shes going to beat me like they did? "Pl-eas-e d-on-t h-h-urt me!(I curl up in a ball) Pl-ease d-ont -rape me!" I cry out hysterical. "Alison" she says I put my hands in front of myself protecting my body I begin to feel dizzy again time blurs a bit things are quiet I stay curled up in a ball the next thing I remember clearly is my mom stopped at a gas station somewhere a little outside of new york city she picks up 2 sets of black cotton t shirts and black stretch pants.

The next thing she does is find a motel to check into for the night I only say 1 thing to her as she gets out of the car "Register under the name Vivan Darkbloom" when she returns she gets the black sets of clothes out of the car she tries to help me out of the car but I start shaking. I stumble into the motel room "Sit down" She says I see her arm suddenly move towards me I block my body instinctively tears forming in my eyes. "Please don't beat me" I say scared crying "I'd never do that to you Alison, I love you so much" my mom places her hands on my shoulders "You love me?" I ask about ready to break down. "Of course, why would you think I didn't?" I can tell I've hurt her feelings "I love you too(I break down in her arms clinging to her) I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings" I let go of her collapsing on the bed curling up in a ball crying into a pillow "Ali?" she sits down next to me I look up at her.

"It was Ken h-he said you didn't love me that you hated me he said you wished you never had me that I was a mistake that no one would ever want me I tried to talk to you about it but you pushed me away saying you were busy, it was like you were telling me he was right that I was worthless to you. I wondered if I was such a horrible person that no one even cared about me if I was such a bad daughter that my own mother didn't want me" I say she's crying. My mom pulls me into a tight hug "I'm sorry, I had no idea, he lied to you I never said that to him nothing could make me feel that way about you I've always wanted you from the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, If I ever lost you I don't know what I'd do" She says her voice full of emotion I can tell shes telling the truth. "Right after that happened I ran upstairs and wrote a note I sat halfway out the window for a minute and then I jumped out it every time I jumped out a window I kept landing on my feet even from 3 stories I just wanted the pain to stop" I cry into her shoulder practically squeezing her. "What the hell did he do to you?" She whispers "He abused me, sometimes he would beat me till I was bleeding sometimes he'd whip me with his belt, treating me as if I was some sort of worthless wind up doll nothing but a human punching bag one day he was drunk and dragged me into his bedroom and raped me" I say hysterical staring her straight in the eyes shaking.

She stairs at me "I don't understand how someone could be so twisted, I wish you had come to me sooner I would of gotten us away from him, your not worthless Ali I wouldn't trade you for anything in the universe" She says starting to get slightly sappy. "I spent the last year or two of my life carrying around a list(I place the list in her hand) I'm going to leave you alone to read this while I get myself cleaned up, I really am sorry" I say tears in my eyes I get up grabbing a set of clothing and heading to the bathroom as I shut the door I see her open up the folded piece of paper. The list consisted of different ways to try to kill myself the ones I tried crossed off which is a fair amount of it and a shortish but intense suicide note on the back, I turned on the water and got undressed I sat down in the shower and scrubbed myself clean well accept for the wound on my head which started bleeding again. She knows now theres no going back, I gave up my list I'm giving up on trying to end my life for now at least that took a lot of trust and courage to share that with her because I've never shown it to anyone before not even the girls it was one of my darkest secrets.

*Jessica's Pov: We get to a motel and then a few minutes later she hands me a note and takes a shower I read the note, My daughter just handed me a partially crossed off list of ways to commit suicide I don't know how to react I turn it over theres more on the back I turn it over. "To whoever finds this if your reading it that probably means I'm dead I had been struggling for a long time and I didn't know what to do, it wasn't an easy decision to make but I'm in a better place now I'm sorry if I hurt anyone I needed a lot of support all I really wanted was a mom someone that loved me but I didn't get that. Thats part of why I did it, because I wasn't sure if anyone would ever want me I felt alone for a long time sure I had friends but I also keep my secrets and this is one of them . Maybe I should of gotten help but I didn't I guess I didn't care enough about myself to do that if someone had paid more attention it might not of ended like this but I guess no body cared enough. Just hope that I'm out of my misery and in a better place now, one less problem for people to work about, to my friends and family I'll always love you but your probably better off without me I pray that your life is better than mine was- love aways, Alison Dilaurentis".

I feel worried out of my mind she hands me a suicide note and then gets in the shower? "Alison?" I knock on the door "I'm getting changed I'll be out in a minute" She responds well at least I know shes alive and conscious, was she purposely trying to scare me? with her behavior sometimes its hard to tell whats going on in her head. She walks out of the bathroom in a black t-shirt that almost looks like a nightgown on her revealing how bruised up her body is I get a washcloth as she stumbles back to the bed I apply the cloth against her wound. "Please promise me if you feel like hurting yourself that you'll try to talk to me about it, I'm really worried about you" I say giving her a serious look "I promise, I gave that to you as I sign that I'm giving up on trying to end my life, sorry I probably shouldn't of left the room like that" She responds "You can come to me with anything, no one lives forever but I'll try to be here for you as long as I can" I say trying to get her to trust me more. "Things will get better well make it out of this as long as we have each-other" She says pulling me into a hug "Sweetheart" I whisper kissing her on the forehead for a few seconds, I've been keeping a lot of my own secrets from her, I don't know if she can handle the truth right now.


End file.
